Steam from the Warped Cogs of My Brain

DR KYLE

“Say that again.”

“He’s a steam powered machine so that’s obviously the main fuel, but I infuse it with a 7% solution of cocaine.”

“Why?”

“Seriously Dr Kyle, read a book.”

“I read plenty of books”

“Fiction! A novel!”

“Novels dilute knowledge into something puerile and basic. They are an insult to science.”

“So you’ve never heard of Sherlock Holmes?”

“No.”

“God damn it. I had so many jokes lined up.”

“That makes me glad I haven’t heard of this Holmes fellow. What kind of name is “Sherlock” anyway? Did someone misspell “Shamrock”?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll fill you in with the basics: Sherlock Holmes is a fictional crime detective, he makes logical deductions from these minor pieces of data. Things that most people wouldn’t notice. A spot of ink, mild weight loss, a hand tremor.”

“Sounds like a medical doctor I used to know- Joseph Bell.”

“Anyway, this steamboat is based on Holmes. Using newly developed camera technology it can observe minute details and then make deductions. I thought it could help out with your detective work.”

“I don’t do detective work anymore.”